Speak Your Language

There's a book that I think EVERYONE should read:

"Understanding the Five Love Languages."

I'm not much of a reader when it comes to fiction, but give me something that promises to give insight and understanding into how people "tick" and I'm there! (Which is why I still think I should have studied more Psychology in college.)

Anyway, the jist is that we all have a Love Language: a way in which we feel loved, appreciated and validated. Everyone is different, however, and the problem comes when we try to make someone else feel loved by speaking OUR love language to them when they might be speaking a different Love language. (Sort of like verbal language: I speak French and when I'm communicating with a French-speaker I have to speak French to them even though MY native language is English. If I speak English, then they won't benefit from our interaction; they won't "get it.") Validating others comes when we are able to comunicate love to them by speaking THEIR language.

*NOTE: This can be true with (and applied to) ALL relationships: Spouses, Friends, Family Members, etc.

I'm hoping this will come in handy when my kids hit the teenage years.  I want them to trust me and to feel like I "get them," without compromising the parent-child relationship.  I don't want to just become their "buddy," I want them to know we love them yet still respect our role and responsibilty as their parents. Tough? Yes. Impossible? I don't think so. I had that relationship with my mom. She really seemed to understand how to speak my language and I'm willing to give it a try with my own kids.

The five basic Love Languages are:
1. Quality Time
2. Physical Touch
3. Acts of Service
4. Gifts
5. Words of Affirmation

And so, my quest to discover Hayden's Love Language begins.

*          *           *

The other morning I repeated the usual morning routine, which included packing the metal Spiderman lunch box. With a few extra minutes to spare I suddenly thought of an idea. I pulled out a piece of red construction paper (nothing too girlie), cut out a heart with the kitchen shears and jotted-down a little note to Hayden. Smiling at the thought of him discovering my little love note during lunch, I taped it to the inside of the lid. I closed it up and slipped the box into his backpack without him noticing.

After he disappeared, I wondered if my little surprise would make a difference in his day. Would he think of me during his busy schedule of practicing letters, building with wooden blocks and playing cowboys and horses? Would he know that I'm thinking of him when he is away? Would he remember?

Ben picked Hayden up from school and apparently heard all about it during the ride home. In fact, he asked me about it as soon as we saw each other again. "Um, what did you do to Hayden's lunch? He keeps talking about it." I smiled again, confident that my little "love-reminder-plan" was working.

Later that evening, Hayden stood by the sink as I washed his lunch box.

"Mom, will you give me another one of those notes in my lunch tomorrow?" he asked sincerely. How could I resist?

....and so (of course) I did:

PS: My little note would fit under the category "Words of Affirmation"

Ella at 6 weeks old.

*          *          *

Un-Invited

Tank (the dog) and Super Joe (the cat)

There are a few who aren't very happy about the dogs coming to live at the Ranch:

the coyotes,

the deer,

the border crossers...

and the barn cats.

*          *          *

"Don't blame me, Super Joe, I tried to take the dogs for a three-mile hike, but you were still up in the tree when we came back."

The Price

The GOOD news:  2nd pregnancy and (still) NO stretchmarks

woo hoo!

The GOOD news:  No more painful ribs and acid reflux

The GOOD news:  Only 10 pounds of lasting pregnancy pounds gained

(I know, you hate me...every one reminds me)

The BAD news:  20 pounds of extra weight BEFORE the pregnancy.

The Truth:  I now have 30 pounds to loose.

bummer.

*I thought that if I put a tracker on the top of my blog for the whole wide world to see EVERY DAY then maybe I'll be more motivated to get it done faster.  Thanks for being a part of my accountability.

The BEST news:

I get to snuggle with THIS:

Weekend Reminder

Ella: Meditating while Daddy puts her shoes on.

Ella would like to remind everyone to take a few minutes to meditate and

JUST RELAX!

Diaper Humor

Stacks of Diapers

I watched a study about diapers on the Today Show.

The purpose was to find out if it's worth spending the extra money on more-expensive diapers. The moms that participated in the study were all BIG believers in Pampers at first (the priciest diaper on the shelf) until they used all of the UNMARKED diapers given to them (Pampers, Huggies, Luvs, White Cloud and others). Then they had to report.

I thought it was ironic that they all favored the SAME diaper for leak protection, fit and durability. When it was revealed to them which brand was their secret brand of choice, they were shocked:

White Cloud (Wal-Mart's store brand).

I used White Cloud exclusively with Hayden.

But I have to admit that Pampers are still my favorite (for a different reason, though);

I like the way they smell.

I think they smell the best.

I'm not so sure that the SMELL is a justifiable reason to spend the extra money either, but it sure is nice to buy a package once in a while. It just makes changing a diaper a little nicer.

So last week, as I opened my new package of self-indulgent diapers I examined what baby-version-of-a-children's character graced their waistband THIS time. (Because you know, they ALWAYS have to have a character: Baby Winnie the Pooh, Baby Mickey Mouse, Baby Elephants and Giraffes...)

This was what I found:

Baby Big Bird

Baby Cookie

Baby Elmo

.....Aaaaaand......

.....wait for it.....

Baby Ernie




Am I the only one that can get a good laugh out of this?
LOOK at him! He's so cute...in a bald-and-nerdy-sort-of-way.

I came across this one and just burst into laughter. Now, I chuckle everytime I pick out another one during a diaper change.



And let's face it...

When you're changing a poopie diaper, don't we ALL need a little humor to lighten the mood?

Maybe THAT was the motivation for the folks over there at the Pampers Design Center.
....Or maybe I desperately need to get out of the house!





That's right...I said "poopie" on my blog (the REAL evidence that I am a Work At Home Mom).

Hayden and Ella (3 weeks old)

Hayden and Ella (3 weeks old)

Hayden told us he was going to have a baby sister before I knew I was pregnant.

In fact, before we had the ultra-sound to find out the baby's gender people were coming up to me at church and congradulating me on the impending baby girl. This was particularly strange since (because of Hayden's age) we hadn't even told him I was expecting. Hayden had been going around church and telling every one that the baby in my tummy was going to be a girl.

(Awk-ward!)

So, you can imagine that we weren't THAT surprised to find out from the ultra-sound technician in August that we WERE, in fact, going to have a baby girl.

During the third trimester, Hayden started to talk to my tummy,

"Hello, baby sister, this is your brother!"

He talked, sang, snuggled and patted my stomach.

Then he picked out pink ballerina-style shoes and Elmo dolls.

He practiced putting his teddy bear in the car seat and even changed the teddy's diaper.

Before we set-up the wood bassinett, Hayden came to me with concerns repeatedly. "Mom," he started matter-of-factly, "where is the baby sister going to sleep? She needs a bed." He was relieved to see the bassinett a few weeks later.  "Mom, I'm SO glad the baby sister has a place to sleep!"

*     *     *

Hayden came to the hospital to meet Ella the day after she was born.

He entered the room with a glowing face and light in his eyes.

He saw her in my arms and raced to the bed.

He jumped up next to me a put his face next to hers.

She was in a deep slumber....

...until she heard his voice.

As soon as he said, "Hi Ella, I'm Hayden."

Her lids quivered and her eyes popped open.

She looked in his direction, unable to focus her tiny new eyes.

I brushed it off as just a coincidence...

....until they started doing this at home.

It is not uncommon for Ella to be asleep in my lap when Hayden comes to give her a kiss before bed. He gently touches her head and says, "Good Night, Ella."

As he leans-in to kiss her cheek, she smiles and turns her head toward him (while keeping her eyes closed).

I'm starting to think these two are going to be best friends.

Tankenstein

Ben with the Farm Dogs

I just thought I would give you a little more perspective on Tank's size.

These pictures were taken yesterday, when Ben was working with the dogs on manners.

Tank (the South African Boerboel) is 18 months old and he is sitting next to full-grown Sunny. (a Lab?)

On this day, Ben was teaching the dogs to SLOWLY and GENTLY take treats from his hand.  They had to sit patiently and follow commands (even if Ben turned his back and walked away).  Ben was SHOCKED at how smart Tank acted.  He learned each behavior after only one try.  Sunny did well too, but it took her a few times to get it.

When Ben saw this picture he kept saying, "Tank looks like a polar bear!"

Ben is not tapping Tank's nose, he is telling him to sit.  Tank can smell the hot dog in Ben's hand.  He WAS able to fight the temptation and gently sat back down.

Muscles!

Remember: Tank is only 18 months old and is expected to fill-out a little more.  Tank reaches Ben's waist.

Tank was sitting just like this one time as I stood straight up and talked to him.  In a split-second, Tank stood on his back legs and licked the tip of my nose before I even had a chance to react.  Then he sat there with his tail wagging, as if to say, "Hah! Gotcha."

Campfire Legends

Future Guest House

(The water tank is to the left and the frame of the windmill is to the right.)

WARNING:  This post contains pictures of one of the "mansions" at the mysterious Ranch Headquarters!  (Tell your friends.)

The Ranch is "mysterious" to most locals.   Before we moved here NOBODY was allowed through the closed gate at the entrance to the long driveway, which follows the land up over and hill and disappears on the other side.  The driveway is almost two miles long.  Some talk about a large Ranch Headquarters with corrals for cattle and horses (true), mature trees (true), barns (true), shops (true) and "huge mansions" (uh...WHAT?).

As we were moving over to the ranch we were approached by one of the younger locals.  "Is it true that there is a big place behind there with fancy houses?  Can I come see it some time?"  You can actually see the cluster of mature trees (barely) from the highway on the other side of the hills, so (of course) the rest of the legend MUST be true.  *wink*

Betty is a beautiful, well-groomed, classy lady with glowing skin and snow-white hair.  One day we saw her at church and she started to talk about the Headquarters.  "You know," she said cheerfully, "my first husband helped build that MAIN house in 1947.  They built the basement first, put that old pool table in there and then built the rest of the house around it.  You couldn't get that pool table out unless you took a chainsaw to it and brought it out in pieces." (chuckling)

Well, the other legend around town is that Wyatt Earp used to play on that pool table at an old bar in Tombstone, so I guess we should leave it.  (Just kidding: I believe THAT one is just as true as the one about "the mansions.")

Betty and I laughed about the stories,

"Have you heard the one about.....?"

There IS a two-bedroom house at the Ranch Headquarters.

We aren't sure how old it is, but if it was built around the same time as the MAIN house (with the pool table), then it is about 6o years old.

We think SOMEBODY put new maple cabinets in the kitchen (and tile in the bathroom shower), but besides that it is up to us to renovate this classic Arizona Ranch-style house.

What are WE going to do with it?

It is going to become a Guest House for visitors of the Ranch.

This is officially my project, so I decided to take some pictures before we start ripping stuff out and putting stuff in.  I will keep you posted on the progress of the process.

Looking at the front door in the common area.

Standing at the front door looking into the room.

The kitchen is on the other end of that doorway.

Look at the difference in color between the rock-work on the wall and the rock-work on the floor.  Ewwww.

I have some good ideas for this hallway.

The two bedrooms are at the end of the hall.

The bathroom.

The laundry closet and water heater corner of the kitchen area.

The kitchen with the stinkiest fridge.

Right now I have been using the kitchen window as my greenhouse.  My geraniums are lining the other countertop.

One of two bedrooms.

*By The Way:  Today is the 8th anniversary that I MET my husband.

"I love you."