I've been doing a LOT of "cooking from scratch" lately and having lots of fun. Needless to say, my family likes it too.
Looking at the bananas in the fruit basket, I realized today was the day to make some perfect banana bread. I had been saving the bananas. Even if someone went to grab one, I would quickly stop them with the reminder, "I'm saving those for bread."
Finally, our wait was over. Today was the day. They were ripe.....really ripe.....perfectly ripe!
I brought out my "perfect banana bread" recipe. I prepared my work space. Hayden wanted to help (as usual), so we put on our matching kitchen aprons, pulled up Hayden's step stool, washed our hands, and got to work. We measured and poured the ingredients, perfectly.
"This was going to be the best banana bread we've ever made."
"YES!" was Hayden's enthusiastc response.
I put the perfect "pinch" of nutmeg into the batter and gave Hayden the spoon to mix it in.
Okay, here's where it get's bad.....
I turned around to the sink to rinse off the measuring cup. The oven chimed to let me know it was perfectly preheated and ready for action. I turned around and....
"AHHHHHHHH! No! OUT of the KITCHEN!"
Hayden had unscrewed the top of the nutmeg, dumped half the jar in, and continued to mix!
After I screamed, Hayden jumped down and ran out of the kitchen. In a "monster mom moment" I hurt his little feelings and broke down over my not-so-perfect-anymore banana bread. The entire kitchen was filled with the pungent aroma of nutmeg. "It took me so long to wait for those bananas to be perfect" I thought to myself.
Reluctantly, I filled the pans anyway and put them in the oven. Somehow I thought there could be a teeny-tiny possibility that some of the nutmeg would "cook out".
It didn't.
We tried.
We choked it down.
I even whipped up a cream cheese frosting to cover it with and "take the edge off". Nothing worked.
And now....there it sits...in the garbage.
And then I wondered:
"My sweet little Hayden.....will he ever forgive me? Will he someday be telling a therapist about this cooking disaster and how my reaction scarred him; that it is the reason for all his bad decisions in life?"
(Seriously, though)...Will my brain's knee-jerk reaction ever remember (in that split-second instant) that the tender feelings of my little boy are SO much more important than the "perfect" banana bread?
More important than, well...anything.
Filled with guilt, I wondered how in an effort to share a special moment with my little boy--to spend quality time and build lasting relationships and memories--I lost my mind and control over myself because of a silly mistake by a little "helper" who was "just copying what mommy did."
That night, as we tucked Hayden into bed, he looked at me and said, "Mommy, snuggle?" Relieved, I jumped into the bed and wrapped my arms around him.
"I'm sorry I was such a grouch." I confessed, pleading for forgiveness.
"It's okay, mommy....I love you."
And then I realized, tomorrow is a new day....with no mistakes yet.
Eventhough I don't want to remember the banana bread disaster, somehow I hope I never forget it.







