"There's A MONSTER Under The Barn!"

Have you ever tasted rattlesnake meat?

I have.

At a fancy-pants, touristy, old-west-type restaurant.

I thought it tasted like chicken (just like everything else does) except rubbery.

I wasn't that impressed, especially while trying NOT to crunch down on vertabrae.

I have to be honest.

IF I actually LIKED the meat (and knew how to prepare it), we would have thought we hit the jackpot a few days ago. We came across the absolutely HUGEST rattlesnakeI have ever seen...

In the middle, the snake was as thick as my fist (and not from lunch)! It HAD to be around 5 feet long! Should this break some sort of record?

I just wanted to take a minute and be grateful.

Here is a list of "beings" I'd like to thank:

Thank you, Barn Kitty, for meow-ing incessantly from the barn rafters. (We THOUGHT you were just being friendly. Now, we understand that you were trying to warn us.)

Thank you, Ginormous Diamondback, for chasing after us from behind the grain barrel (so that we knew just how mean you really were). Thank you for showing us your rattle and "shaking it" so loudly.

Thank you, Shanda, for allowing your motherly instincts kick-in when I was too far away. Screaming, scooping Hayden up, and running for the door (in less than two seconds) was absolutely astonishing! Poetry in motion, I tell ya!

Thank you, Ben, for being such a good shot (as well as thorough). Shooting the head off AND shooting the snake in half was (although messy) VERY efficient. Bravo!

Thank you, Giant Antique shot gun, for firing a shot. I realize we don't take you out to play very often (the young AR-15 gets most of the fun), but you were the only one close-by. This was your moment to shine...and you did! I MUST say that when Ben carries you around, there is an almost John-Wayne-esque essence in the air.

And here's a second thank you to Shanda....

For "showing" the dead snake to the kitty (so that she would KNOW it was dead). I laughed so hard when the kitty turning into a screaming tazmanian devil...I had to cross my legs so I wouldn't pee my pants (hello! Pregnant!) I know I was trying to be serious for the sake of your feelings, but really....that was funny (let's be honest).

PS....I AM really sorry she scratched you.

Okay, I know I'm being a little silly, but seriously....LOOK AT THAT PICTURE!

I'm SO glad we didn't meet this snake (hiding in the barn for who knows how long) under different circumstances. Considering that a couple of the barn cats are missing (and that we found remains close-by), it seems as though this big guy has been there for a while!